November 15, 2011 by writehandman.com.au
There’s Grand Canyonesque differences between the genders.
Here’s a rundown of a conversation I had a few weeks ago, with my adorable wife.
My wife (an Adele song had just come on) – “Wow. Adele’s brilliant.”
Me – “Yeees and no. Great voice obviously, but she’s a little… dour.”
My wife – “What?? How can you say that? She’s absolutely amazing… and gorgeous.”
Me – “Weeeell… she’s okaaay. All I’m saying is that when I become a world-famous blogger and get invited to an MTV-Awards after-party, Adele would not be the first one I’d gravitate towards. I’d be tracking down Fergie, Ariana Grande or Christina Aguilera for a dance.”
My wife – “But Adele has such a soul. She nearly makes me cry.”
Me – “Yeah, but I’m at the freaken MTV party with Cee-Lo Green, Justyn Timberlake and Usher, soulful crying is going to be pretty much the last thing on my mind. And rest assured I’m going to do my utmost to avoid the woman crying in the corner, lamenting how her terrible boyfriend left her six years ago, how she’s never going to find true love again and life is so terribly unjust.”
My wife – “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Adele touches on the pain that so many women have known in their lives. She manages to wind into her songs so much that women need and feel.”
Me – “If you’ve got pain, why the hell would you want it touched on? How about Beyonce? She manages to somehow put in to her video clips, so much that men need and feel.”
My wife – “You’re an idiot.”
Me – “I don’t know if I’d want her touching on my pain, but Shakira, she also seems to know so much that men need. Woah mama, Shakira knows.”
My wife – “Moron. Shallow moron.”
Me – “That lead singer from the Pussycat Dolls. She knows as well.”
Me – “Rhianna, another knower.”
My wife – “This conversation is over. Gee I hope our son turns out nothing like you.”
Me – “JLo seems to be up to speed on the knowing also.”
She turned and left the room.
Me – “DEMI LOVATO.”
Grand Canyonesque differences.
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