January 8, 2019 by writehandman.com.au
Would you be impressed if I told you I’m successful enough to have recruited a celebrity guest blogger?
However, all I have is a mate of mine, who goes by the poker call-sign Hammer. He’s certainly no “celebrity”. The term “guest” implies he’s… welcome to come over. And he’s absolutely not a “blogger” by any means.
Hammer is an American now living in Hornswood and he told me what I thought was a very funny story, so I asked him to write it. Here is the result:
AN AMERICAN BOY, DISCOVERING AUSTRALIA (guest blog by Hammer)
A number of years ago our family ventured a long move overseas to Australia. As part of our newfound excitement we took to experiencing as much of the local landscape as possible. Travel, food, social culture and much more. During the first year, the youngest of our children embraced many local sports and activities.
He’d always been very quizzical, wanting to learn new things and full of questions. We have always considered him a bit of a Renaissance kid, happy to try just about any activity or new experience. However, when I say he has always been full of questions, this child averages hundreds a day. Every day. Still to this day.
Being from America, there was certainly a learning curve for the young lad and his various undertakings. Learning about rips and ocean safety during Nippers and surfing lessons. The fact that baseball falls a far distant second to cricket in Australia.
Despite the tribulations, he persisted in his education and most importantly had fun playing with his new friends.
One evening, my wife and I were enjoying a glass of wine after dinner, still at the table. The meal was over, and kids had headed off to homework and other activities. Into the kitchen walks our youngest with his typical youthful exuberance and stands across from the two of us announcing that he had a question to ask.
Thinking nothing out of the ordinary, I respond to the miniature version of my wife and myself, “What can we do for you?”
To the absolute surprise of both me and my wife, the youngster says, “I have been checking out what sort of stuff you can do in Sydney. I do have a question. What is a hooker?”
We have always been open in our household about subjects regarding the human body, relationships and educating oneself about anatomy and other possibly socially sensitive topics. In reality, these typically just fall into the category of ‘we are all just human’. Teaching our children about what their bodies will experience, and that sex is natural (but should be done lovingly and responsibly), has been part of our approach to child rearing.
After a painfully long silence in which our child took turns alternating glances between the two of us, I finally conceded to his mother that she is likely best to address this shocking question. “Why don’t you handle this one, babe?”
As my wife took control of the situation, I was amazed by her ability to explain the ‘world’s oldest profession’ to the child, in terms that would make sense to a young mind, while at the same time shielding the child from some of the harsher realities of prostitution. She navigated the conversation with an expertise that only a woman speaking to her own offspring, could handle. I was amazed at how well my life partner was able to manage the situation into which we were suddenly thrust.
I decided at this point to offer my encouragement, “Do go on, dear.”
After her explanation, the boy was apparently full of many, many more questions than before he started his quest for an answer. He pondered the new information quietly to himself, but was not satisfied that he was wiser from the moments preceding his entrance. He wanted answers and was not getting the correct ones.
He turned to me, his father, his mentor in life for guidance and stated to me questioningly, “I don’t understand?”
Being the source of all knowledge to a young boy, his father can always provide. A man of many years’ experience surely has the information needed and can put it in a relatable way that will keep his trust for a lifetime. An oracle to a knowledge seeker.
I looked the boy in the eye an explained, “In the scrum, the player in the centre who rakes the ball back with his foot.”
He looked at his father knowingly, “Thanks, Dad!”
As he left the room, off to learn more about his new favourite sport, I felt a burning emanating from the other side of the table. The staring glare of both confusion and disappointment from my wife was remarkable. To clarify her suspicions, she needed to ask, “Did you understand his question from the beginning?”
As a proud father, I let her know that my connection with the boy was strong, “Absolutely.”
She responded, “And you just allowed me to explain this topic knowing what he was really asking?”
Proudly, I replied, “Without question.”
Thanks for reading where I’ve put my heart and soul down in words, for you!
Like a noble, armour-clad knight astride a powerful war-steed, in dogged pursuit of my elusive dream to one day make a living as a word-man, I’ve started writing emails for small businesses, to entertain and entice their customers.
Imagine “Hornswood Pool Shop”, spamming their customers a few times a year. When it comes to catchy writing that people will actually read, they are good at… pools. Perfect pH, but their accurate and informative communications… are boring and sadly perish, unloved and unopened.
But thanks to me, their campaigns can be worshiped by the people!
Opened. Read! Cherished!! Held aloft, like the Life of Brian shoe or that chubby little Lion King.
Know any businesses who could benefit from having wonder and awe sent out to their database? I often double industry open-rates and you’ll allow me to continue claiming at parties much to my wife’s chagrin, that I am in fact, a writer.
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